Coversational Diary 10-10-21

What ambition do I alone have? To some extent the core has developed its own interests, although some of them perhaps are just things we were interested in as a child, before we began to fracture--when we were truly singular, rather than this strange fragmented, blurry mess we now are.

Even aside from the fuckery that is trying to distinguish and name ourselves, what little we can distinguish is inconsistent and ever shifting. Impossible to pin down for very long at all.

That, and to some extent, only some of us feel human. The core often expresses that they feel like a... concept, I guess. And while I'm technically human, I'm just a homunculus. I don't suppose it's quite the same.

Xiao still identifies the same way he always has, I think, regardless of the body not matching. An adeptus and still distinct form humans, although he mostly takes that form. I think I remember him once thinking about why, but I'm honestly not sure. Yanfei identifies as the half-adeptus half-human she is, logically.

That brings our human members to: Kazuha, Ryou, Yusaku, Tanjirou, and Izuku. And potentially other members not from fiction, if any exist. I think we might have at least one-- [REDACTED], I think, does exist. He's the one of us interested in computer science, who tends to be skittish and who tends to be an OK leader, and who has a talent for mathemeatics.

Oh, Friday--that dissociation, and the crying--I think I might have been absent during the test, and it may have been Ryou who did [illegible]--or, perhaps, the core was alone in that. I think [REDACTED] may have been partly in control alongside the core during the test, and returned after. And I believe I was in-and-out throughout the rest of the day. I know one of us was upset with me for not being more helpful.

I must say, everyone, that I apologize for disappointing you. I realize that, as we share this mind and body, it is our collective responsibility to care for it and tend to any tasks that need doing. And that is especially true of those of us suited to those tasks--including myself, since being the most scientifically-inclined, I probably should have been assisting with Physics.

Well, on second thought, I suppose I sound like a hypocrite, given what else lately has been at least partially my fault, but I promise, I am trying my best. I hope everyone else is, too.

--Albedo



You know, I think we could all really benefit from somewhere else to write to each other, be it a dedicated notebook or one of those Discord servers. Personally, I'm partial to notebooks, especially if it's one of these [Leuchtturm 1917], but that's just me! Thoughts?

--Yanfei



Yanfei! You're about for once! I'm glad to see you! I did try a discord server once with Midoriya and that brief Aizawa cameo (who may or may not still be here?). But it didn't work super well for us. Maybe on mobile it'd be better, but theres' also the downside of needing internet. For that reason I'd vote in favor of a notebook, but I suppose using a notes app would also work--and it'd be slightly better in terms of security + portability.

-- [REDACTED]



Y: Security is important.



I will second the idea of a phone, for security, but it is worth noting that for some of us, handwriting is more comfortable. Though, at that, we seem to strongly prefer these notebooks [Leuchtturm 1917], and they are...not the most affordable. Realistically, we can use any notebook, but this is a consideration we need to make. In all honesty, simply writing here [Leuchtturm 1917] seems to work perfectly fine.

--Albedo